An Ode to Parental Units

Photo Credit | Captured by Fabiola

Today, my parents celebrate 55 years of marriage. They got married in 1965. To say that they're the best parents Sis and I could ever have is a major understatement of the universe.

My Dad…

• Grew up in the projects.
• Has a degree in Finance.
• Played basketball in high school.
• Served in the Army and retired as a Colonel. He looked damn good is in dress blues. He tried to get Sis and I to enlist, but I said HELL TO THE NO. She’d wanted to, but note to self: the military won’t take you if you’re missing an organ.
• Survived a minor heart attack at 48. He had to quit smoking cold turkey after that and needless to say, it was NOT a pretty experience. LOL
• Never raised his voice to us.
• Never laid a hand on us.
• Taught me how to moonwalk on the kitchen floor. It’s an important life lesson, I can tell you that.
• Taught me that the man should be in front when going down stairs and in back when going up stairs. I trained Mr. Ex to do that.
• Taught me that a man should always open doors for me.
• Loves jazz.
• Loves sci-fi movies. Particularly Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
• Loves peanuts and Hostess cupcakes.
• Worked in banking for as long as I knew what my Daddy did “for a living”. He was the VP of Commercial and Industrial Loans.
• Taught me how to balance my checkbook. Which I haven’t done IN YEARS.
• Was the Math Person in our household. Still is, actually.
• Gave me his big laugh and the Downs Nose.
• Built a 1933 Ford. From scratch.
• Built a 1938 Cadillac. Not from scratch.
• Has a serious sweet tooth and passed that on to me.
• Is a fraternity brother in two houses, Delta Sigma Pi and Kappa Alpha Psi.
• Is a prostate cancer survivor.
• Is a COVID-19 survivor.

My Mom…

• Grew up in the projects.
• Has a degree in Criminal Justice.
• Read to us when we were kids. I’m a bookdragon because of her.
• Was the English Person in our household. She was really helpful with those fucking essays I always hated to write.
• Was a grade school substitute teacher. That was a short-lived gig. Note to self: don’t tell kids you’ll twist their lips off if they won’t be quiet. That’s no bueno.
• Hates to cook. And clean. LOL
• Makes REALLY GOOD fried chicken.
• Passed her love of bread and biscuits to me.
• Is allergic to Percocet, in all it’s forms.
• Never raised her voice to us. Because she had The Look and that was worse than being yelled at.
• Never laid a hand on us. We knew not to act up in public.
• Loves Tootsie Rolls.
• Loves jazz. And Motown. Particularly Sam Cooke and Jackie Wilson.
• Loves Denzel Washington movies. That’s her Guy. Well, her other guy.
• Loves Michelle Obama. That’s Her Girl.
• Is the last living member of her family.
• Is a brain tumor survivor.
• Is a COVID-19 survivor.
• Is losing her short term memory.

My Mom and Dad…

• Are one year apart in age.
• Are members of the Lions Club and a classic car club. They're busy retirees, to say the least.
• Taught us about racism and seeing “in color”. We’re a multicultural family. Racism could not exist in our house.
• Provided unconditional love and support. Still do.
• Taught us the importance of having an education.
• Taught us the importance of hard work and not taking shortcuts.
• Wear matching colors. In case they get separated from one another they can say “He (or she) is wearing the same thing I am.” Really, it’s too cute for words.

So. This.

This was the example, the standard, the set high bar for my future relationships: equal partners, communication always, decisions made together, hanging out with other married couples.

Unfortunately, neither I nor my sister didn’t get to experience that.

I know we're lucky.

Not many of our friends growing up can say they love hanging out with their parents.

But we do.

Not many of our girlfriends growing up can say “I want to be like my Mom when I grow up.”

But we did.

My parents’ friends would always tell them that I favored my Mom, but I never saw it.

Until one day, I did.

We have fun together—there was and still is so much laughter when we get together—and we ate meals together as a family (even though my Mom hated to cook) that I never really wanted to leave. Sis left at 18. Voluntarily.

But I was forced to.

At age 25. LOL

I can’t imagine my life without them in it and yet, I know I will have to at some point. Honest to God, I hope they go together because I don’t want to have to grieve twice.

To say that they're the best parents Sis and I could ever have is a major understatement of the universe.

I want them around for another fifty-five years, but I know that won’t happen. So, I’ll just say, thank you. For...EVERYTHING.

EVERY. THING.

Here’s to another ten years. At least.

Love you, Mom'n'Dad.

Happy Anniversary